12 Common Mistakes That Guys Make With Women

Here are 12 common mistakes that guys make with women, which can lead to rejection or a relationship break up.

How many of these mistakes have you made before?

1.   Thinking that being nice to a woman is good enough

There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman and there’s nothing wrong with being a good guy, but being nice to a woman isn’t the thing that makes her feel sexually turned on.

For example: When a guy interacts with a woman that he wants to get into a sexual relationship, if he is just being nice to her, that isn’t the thing that is going to make her feel sexually attracted to him. Being nice is not going to make her feel turned on.

She’s not going to say, “Wow! This guy is nice! I want to have sex with him and start a relationship with him.”

What a lot of nice guys and good guys don’t understand is that the majority of guys in this world are good guys. If a woman is attractive, most of the guys that she meets are going to be nice to her.

So, when a guy is nice to a woman it doesn’t mark him out as being special. What marks a guy out as special is when he can trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of her. He can turn her on by what he is saying and doing when interacting with her.

When it comes to relationships, being nice to a woman is also not good enough. If a modern man wants a relationship with a woman to stay together for life, he has to deepen the woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction over time.

He can’t expect that a woman is going to want to stay around and stick with him for life if he’s unable to deepen the love, respect and attraction over time. If he’s doing things that are making the woman lose respect for him or doing many things that are turning the woman off, then he can’t expect her to stick around. Why? The dating and relationship scene has changed.

If you think about how women used to select men in the past, you will realize that the dating and relationship scene has completely changed. In the past, a man would have to be nice to a woman, court her and show her that he could take care of her if they got married.

When he was able to prove that he could support her, he would then need to ask her father for his daughter’s hand in marriage and then the couple would get married and lose their virginity on the wedding night. Generally speaking, most women couldn’t earn their own money in the past and they were almost completely dependant on men for support.

Today’s women can earn their own money and they can have sex whenever they want.

Women no longer select guys simply based on how nice a guy is or how well set up he is to support her. The way that women select men for sex and relationship is now based on sexual attraction first and everything else after that.

If a guy makes a woman feel sexually attracted when he meets her, she will become open to the possibility of having sex with him or starting a sexual relationship. However, if he doesn’t make her feel any sexual attraction, she has no need to be with him.

If a modern man wants to get laid or get a girlfriend, he needs to actively attract women when he interacts with them.


These days, a guy needs to be able to say and do things that turn women on, rather than just being nice and expecting that he’s going to get a chance with the woman because he is a good guy with good intentions.

What a lot of guys don’t realize is that most most guys in this world are good guys.

2. Being too easily impressed by women

What a lot of guys don’t understand is that there is a difference between how men feel attracted to women and how women feel attracted to men.

Most men feel an intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance and her physical appearance is enough for the man to want to have sex with her or start a relationship with her.

That is why porn has always been directed towards men. Porn has always been about providing images or videos for men to look at and then jerk off to.

This is also the reason why when a woman is walking down the street, guys will be turning their head and looking at her and thinking, “Oooh, look at that…I’d tap that…I want to be with her…I want to be her boyfriend…I want to have sex with her.”

That instant reaction of being impressed by a woman happens simply based on her physical appearance. Yet, the same rule doesn’t apply to women.

Women can feel attracted to a man’s physical appearance, but what women are most attracted to is how a guy’s personality and behavior makes her feel. There are some women in this world who will only accept a perfect, good looking guy who is tall with a perfect body and also has loads of money. That is true.

However, the majority of women have what I call an Open Type, which means that they are open to being with all different types of guys as long as the guy knows how to make her feel attracted when he interacts with her.

So, the mistake that guys make is that they don’t understand the reality that women live in. Women go through life and if they are attractive, most guys are willing to have sex with them or start a relationship with them simply based on their appearance.

Even if the woman doesn’t have a nice personality or is a bit of a bitch, most guys are still going to be willing to have sex with her simply based on her appearance. After a while, that gets very boring for women; especially attractive women.

What most women want (I say “most” because unattractive women do like it) is a guy who isn’t immediately 100% interested simply based on her appearance. What an attractive woman wants to experience is a guy who can actually make HER feel attracted. A guy who can turn HER on and make her feel like she wants to be with him.

Yet, most guys never give that to women because most guys feel intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance and then confuse that with their interest level. They are attracted and 100% interested at the same time, without her having to say or do anything to impress them any further.

The guy is already 100% impressed by her and ready to have sex or begin a relationship with her just because she looks good.

3. Thinking that he can buy her attraction or love

There’s nothing wrong with taking a woman out to dinner and paying for it and there’s nothing wrong with talking to a woman and buying her a drink if you’re getting along and enjoying each other’s company.

The mistake is where a guy feels like he can make a woman love him or feel attracted to him by buying her things (e.g. paying for drinks, buying her an expensive dinner, paying for her rent, etc). A guy like that makes the mistake of thinking that it will impress her and make her want to be with him because he is so generous and takes care of her like a princess.

100 years ago, buying women things was a great way to show that you could take care of them and were capable of being the breadwinner and providing for her. However, the majority of today’s women can earn their own money. They don’t need a man to pay for everything for them.

The number one thing that women are looking for isn’t a guy who can pay for a dinner, buy them a present or buy a drink for them. What modern women are looking for is a man who makes them feel sexual attraction and a man that they can also look up to and respect.

Women aren’t looking for a guy who tries to overcompensate for not being able to make them feel sexually attracted by buying them things. Women don’t want to be talking to a guy and thinking, “Okay, this guy isn’t very confident…he’s paying for all these things as a way to hopefully get me to like him” and then not feel much respect for him as a result.

What women are looking for is a guy who triggers feelings of sexual attraction inside of them, makes them feel turned on, makes them feel drawn to him and is also a guy that they can respect.

4. Thinking that attracting her or seducing her is wrong

Over the years, some guys have come my site and said things like, “I was raised up to be a gentleman. I am nice to women and I want to take them out on dates…and if they don’t like that, then bad luck for them. I’m not going to do anything other than be nice to them. I’m a gentleman…I’m respectful towards women and I want to show them that. If they don’t like that, they are crazy.”

What guys like that don’t understand is that women actively seduce men (i.e. by dressing in a sexy way to attract men and then being sweet and nice to men to make them feel like they have a chance) and they want men to actively seduce them.

For women, it’s very easy for them to attract us because all they’ve got to do is dress a little bit sexy, show some cleavage or wear a short skirt to show some leg. They can wear tight fitting pants or a tight skirt, put on some lipstick, make themselves look more physically attractive and then be sweet and nice and most guys will be willing to have sex with them.

It’s very easy for women to seduce men. If you’ve ever been to a strip club, you’ll see that the women in there are not only beautiful and sexy, but they also come across in a sweet, easy-going, friendly type of way. They know how to seduce guys.

Strippers know how to get guys thinking, “Wow! This girl is attractive AND she’s really nice to me. I really like her!” They are experts at seducing men.

However, what a lot of guys don’t understand is that women actually want to meet a guy who can make them feel sexually attracted and then seduces them into having sex. Not in a way where the guy is doing it against her will of course, but where she is feel attracted, is feeling like she really wants to have sex with him and is going along with it.

She is enjoying the process of feeling attracted, seeing the guy build up sexual tension between them and then release the sexual tension together with kissing and sex.

Here’s the thing though…

You won’t hear women going around saying this. Women will usually say things that are the complete opposite to what they want sexually, because they don’t want to come across as being too easy. They don’t want to come across as the “s” word.

A woman doesn’t want to come across in a way where, if a guy gets into a relationship with her, he won’t be able to trust her because she was so open and easy when it came to sex. Most women have to put on a bit of an act of innocence, so they will say things like:

  • I want a sensitive man.
  • I would never have a one night stand.
  • I hate it when a man tries to pick me up.
  • I want a nice guy.
  • I want a man to show me how much he cares for me.

When guys hear women saying those sorts of things often enough, they begin to believe that the secret to success with women is to avoid trying to attract them or seduce them. Many guys assume that they need to be nice, show the woman how much they care and then hopefully they will get a chance with her.

Yet, that’s not how it works.

You can have sex with most women pretty quickly and then start a relationship with them right away. Depending on the country, some statistics show that up to 70% of women have had a one night stand before…so women aren’t as innocent as most guys assume they are.

Personally speaking, I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and at least 100 of those women I had sex with on the first night. Pretty much all of them said something like, “This is the first time I’ve ever done this…I never have one night stands…I never do this…this is so unlike me.”

Women tend to come across in that way because they want you to be able to trust them. They want you to be able to see them as a woman that you can rely on and trust if you get into a relationship. It’s not easy for modern women because the dating scene has changed. It’s no longer about her saving herself for marriage anymore.

It’s a more complex dating scene now where women can have sex before marriage, but they can’t go around bragging about that, showing it off or talking about it because people will think that she’s an “s” or guys will think that they can’t trust her in a relationship.

Yet, she’s simply adapting to the modern dating environment and so are guys who understand what it actually going on. Many of the men who haven’t yet adapted to the modern dating scene are still thinking that it’s wrong to make a woman feel attracted or turned on when they first meet her.

They feel as though it would be disrespectful to use body language that would make her feel girly and turn her on, or to say things that trigger sexual desire. Yet, these days, you actually need to do it. Women select men for sex and relationships based on sexual attraction.

What a lot of modern men make the mistake of doing is trying hard to show a woman that he is a respectful, nice guy and he has good intentions. He wants her to get the sense that he will wait 10 dates to get a kiss or sex if he has to.

The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with waiting for 10 dates to have sex, but what a modern man actually needs to do when he starts interacting with a woman is make her feel sexual attraction.

Whether he and the woman wait 5 dates or 10 dates to have sex or they have sex on the first night is up to them, but what a guy needs to do is focus on making her feel sexually attracted to him when he first starts interacting with her.

Just making a woman feel friendly feelings or getting along with her as a friend and being nice to her, isn’t the thing that is going to make her think, “WOW! I want to be in a sexual relationship with this guy” because pretty much every guy that she meets talks to her in that way.

The guys who stand out are the guys who give her a little tingle “down there” and make her feel like, “Ooh…mmm…I want to have sex with this guy.” They are the guys who actively turn her on and make her feel sexual desire, rather than just being friendly and hoping that it makes her want to have sex.

5. Sharing his feelings before she is even properly attracted

If a guy hasn’t said or done anything to make a woman feel sexually attracted to him and he then tells the woman that he has feelings for her, it isn’t going to be much of interest to her compared to a guy who has made HER feel attracted first, turned HER on and made HER feel sexual desire.

Then, if he says that he likes her, she feels lucky that a guy that she feels attracted to also likes her. That is what she wants to experience, but most guys don’t allow women to have that experience because they don’t understand the reality that women live in.

Most guys will feel attracted to a woman’s physical appearance and then if she is then nice to him, he might say that he really likes her or that he has feelings for her. He might hint at wanting to be her boyfriend or ask her what she thinks of having a relationship with him, in the hope that he will be lucky enough to get a chance with her.

If he wants to be with her, he has to make HER feel attracted to HIM first. He has to make her experience sexual feelings and then she will actually be interested in the fact that he has feelings for her, because she has feelings for him.

A lot of beautiful women have the same boring experience over and over again when meeting guys and eventually get really annoyed by it. If a woman is beautiful, she will meet a guy and he will almost certainly feel very attracted to her immediately.

Then, if she is nice to him and talks to him, he might feel like all he has to do from there is be nice to her, ask her out and then they will begin a relationship.

After a bit of conversation, he might say things like, “I connect with you…you’re not like other girls…I really like you” and ask her questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Can I take you out sometime?”

He’s going straight for the kill because he feels like her being nice to him means that she is interested in him sexually, but it’s not.

What women are looking to find is a guy who can make THEM feel sexually attracted and then build up the sexual tension to the point where she wants to reveal her feelings for him. She wants to experience the exciting feelings that are associated with wanting to reveal her feelings to the guy.

She wants to feel so attracted that she actually tells him that she likes him or hugs him, kisses him or touches him in a seductive or loving way. She wants to be feeling so much sexual attraction for him that she eventually just says, “I really like you” or “kiss me!” or “let’s go out on a date” or “let’s go home together.”

She wants to feel that, but most guys will never give that to her because most guys do not understand the reality that women live in.

Most guys don’t understand that the majority of guys that a woman meets will have “feelings” for her if she is nice to them. If a woman attractive, pretty or even just decent looking and she talks to a guy in a nice, sweet way, most guys will become very interested in her and hope to get a chance with her. Eventually, many of them will reveal their “feelings” for her.

That is not the experience that an attractive woman is hoping to have. She is hoping to meet a guy who makes her feel like she has to chase him a little, she has to reveal her feelings and hopefully get a chance with him.

6. Thinking that he has to have money or looks to get a girl

Money or looks can definitely attract women, but they are not the only ways that a guy can attract women.

Most guys are not rich, yet they still have a girlfriend or a wife. Most guys are not male models, yet they still have a girlfriend or a wife. In other words, guys without good looks or lots of money, can and do attract women for sex, relationships and marriage.

Back when I was hopeless with women, I assumed that women didn’t like me because I wasn’t good looking enough. I was working in a normal job, so I assumed that they weren’t impressed by that either.

When I saw women happily talking to other guys at bars or parties, I assumed that those guys must be better looking than me, even though the guys were just average or below-average looking guys. I thought, “Okay…well, I guess those guys are good looking to women…and I’m not.”

What I didn’t know back then, but which I eventually realized is that you’ve actually got to spark feelings of sexual attraction when you’re interacting with the woman. Back when I was getting rejected by women, I was walking over and talking to them and asking things like:

  • “Hey…how are you doing?”
  • “How’s your night going?”
  • “What do you do for a living?
  • “How long have you worked there?”
  • “What’s your name?”
  • “How old are you?”

After that, there’d be an awkward silence and I’d be thinking, “What else can I say?!” and I would then run out of things to say.

I’d be thinking to myself, “Why can’t I keep a conversation going and keep it interesting when talking to a woman? Why does it just fizzle out all the time? Why aren’t girls interested in me?”

Back then, I didn’t realize that NOTHING that I was saying was making the women feel sexually attracted. Asking a girl what she does for a living and asking other boring questions like that isn’t something that makes her feel sexually turned on.

It isn’t something that makes her think, “WOW! This guy is so amazing and interesting…I want to talk to him. I’m feeling so attracted to him…I’m feeling so turned on.” Instead, it’s just a standard conversation that she’s had hundreds, if not thousands of times before.

It was only when I realized that I had to actively attract women that I then started to experiment with saying and doing certain things that made women feel sexually attracted to me. When I did that, things instantly started to change.

Women felt attracted to me, I was able to kiss women within 10 minutes of meeting them and then 5 minutes. Then, I started taking women home for sex and enjoying that lifestyle. My newfound ability to actively attract women was now allowing me to have my choice with women, rather than hoping to “get lucky” with a woman.

It was no longer about trying to be “liked” for being a good guy. Now, I was a good guy who was ALSO sexually attractive to women. Being able to make women feel sexual attraction was what made all the difference.

Before I knew how to actively attract women during an interaction based on what I was saying and doing, I thought the reason why women didn’t find me attractive was that I wasn’t good looking enough.

I also assumed that I didn’t have a good enough job. I drove a cheap, average type of car, so I thought that women wouldn’t be impressed by that. I simply assumed that I wasn’t good enough for attractive women.

A lot of guys make this same mistake where they feel as though they can’t attract beautiful women because they’re not good looking enough or they don’t have loads of money. However, the fact is that most guys are not rich and most guys are not male models, yet they still manage to attract and have sex with, or a relationship or even a marriage with beautiful women.

7. Doing whatever she wants in the hope that it will impress her and make her like him

When a guy doesn’t know how to make women feel attracted to him, he’ll often think that solution to get women interested must be to treat women like perfect princesses and do whatever they want in the hope that they are nice enough to “give him a chance.”

He might think, “Okay, I’m going to do whatever this woman wants…I’m going to say yes to whatever she asks of me…I’m going laugh at all of her jokes and buy her whatever she wants. Then, hopefully she will see that I’m a good man and she will like me too.”

Yet, that’s not how it works.

When a woman sees that a guy doesn’t respect himself very much and is willing to say or do whatever he can to hopefully get her to “like” him, she doesn’t feel respect for him. Women don’t feel attracted to guys that they don’t respect. Trying to kiss a woman’s butt by doing whatever she wants is a sure path to a rejection or a break up.

The way to get women to be immediately interested in you is to spark feelings of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is where the power is. If you’re not actively making women feel sexually attracted to you when you approach them, then there’s almost no need to approach; most women simply aren’t going to be feeling what they really want to feel when they meet a guy.

8. Being annoyed when women test, rather than seeing it as an opportunity

Women test men all the time. It doesn’t matter what level of skill you have at attracting women, making them feel respect for you or making them love you; women will still test you.

An example of a test is where a guy is talking to a girl that he likes and they’re getting along well. Suddenly, she stops showing interest and stops contributing much to the conversation. In most cases, when a woman pulls back her interest like that, she is simply testing the guy’s confidence.

She wants to see whether he is going to feel insecure. She wants to see if he’s going to desperately begin to chase her and confess his feelings for her. She wants to see what sort of guy he really is.

What a lot of guys don’t understand is that a woman’s test is an opportunity to make her feel more attraction. When you can maintain your confidence in yourself and not get flustered by the test that she’s putting you through and just continue to believe in yourself, it actually makes her feel attracted to you.

The same thing applies to relationships. When a guy is in a relationship with a woman, it doesn’t matter how much attraction she feels for him, it doesn’t matter how much she respects him and it doesn’t matter how much she loves him; she will ALWAYS test him.

Why? When a woman tests a man and sees that he is the man, he is confident and he is the masculine one, it makes her feel attracted to him. It maintains her respect for him and allows her to fall more deeply in love with him.

However, if she tests him and he crumbles under the pressure, fails the challenge and can’t deal with it, then he’s most likely not man enough for her.

In the past, women would put up with guys who weren’t able to maintain their attraction and respect because it was shameful to divorce. Yet, whether we like it or not, most women are not ashamed of divorce anymore and simply leave guys who can’t make them feel what they really want to feel.

In today’s world, a guy needs to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him over time. If he doesn’t know how to do that, the relationship will most-likely fall apart.

9. Trying too hard to be liked

This is a classic mistake for guys who don’t actually know how to attract women.

They don’t know how to make women feel sexually attracted to them, so they will often use the approach of trying really hard to be “liked” as a guy. He might be a great friend to her, do favors for her and generally “be there” for her.

Yet, that isn’t what makes a woman feel sexually attracted and turned on.

There is a big difference between a woman “liking” a guy as a friend and feeling “sexual attraction” for him. A woman can like a lot of guys that she meets as a friend or as a person, but that isn’t the same as her feeling sexually attracted and turned on by how a guy talks to her and interacts with her.

If a guy doesn’t make a woman feel sexually attracted, it doesn’t really matter how hard he tries to get her to like him; she’s just not going to be feeling what she really wants to feel.

10. Being insecure

Some examples of being insecure are when a guy:

  • Approaches and talks to a woman: He might doubt himself, feel nervous or intimidated.
  • Is on a date: He might try too hard to impress, appear nervous or intimidated.
  • Is in a relationship: He might become overly protective, jealous or clingy.

None of those things make women feel sexually attracted to a guy because women are naturally attracted to the mental and emotional strength of men and are turned off by any weaknesses.

Imagine a world where women rewarded men with sex, love and devotion for being insecure…

Generation after generation, women would successfully breed more emotional weakness into the human race, which wouldn’t help anyone. The most insecure men would get the best women, which might end up turning us into a race of emotional wimps.

Women instinctively seek to breed strength into the human race, not weakness.

Some guys may think that it’s unfair that women find emotional strength attractive. They may feel annoyed that women can’t accept their insecurity, shyness or lack of confidence and just like them for who they are, but it’s just how nature works.

To be successful with women, a man needs to understand the fundamental personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women. He then needs to begin displaying those traits and behaviors, rather than expecting women to go against their natural instincts.

When a guy presents the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women, success with women is simple and permanent.

Women feel naturally attracted to him, without him having to try hard to be “liked.” Women naturally like him and naturally feel attracted to him because he’s displaying the personality traits and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women.

11. Not even knowing what to do to succeed

Most guys still don’t even know that it’s possible to improve their skills with women. They assume that if they have failed with women in the past, it means that they are no good with women and can’t really do anything about it.

Most guys also don’t even know that it’s possible to attract women while they interact with them. They are going through life thinking that they either have to be super nice or they’ve got to be good looking with loads of money and then they’ll get a girl.

Yet, it is possible to attract women based on what you say and do. You do not have to be good looking or rich to attract women, get laid, get a girlfriend or get laid. All you need to do is know how to actively attract women when you interact with them. When you can do that, women naturally find you attractive and want to be with you. It’s pretty simple.

Another type of guy who comes to my website is a guy who is having problems with his relationship. The spark has died or his girl has dumped him. When a guy like that arrives at my site, it’s almost always the case that he doesn’t even know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him.

He’s hoping that if he’s just nice enough to her then that will be good enough, but it’s not.

To keep a relationship together, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of respect, love and attraction for you. You can’t just be good to a woman and think she will stick around because it’s not enough to keep a modern woman in a relationship.

100 or 200 years ago, women had to put up with not really feeling much respect or attraction for their man. They had to stay with him because it was shameful to divorce, but not anymore. In today’s world, if a woman isn’t feeling more respect, love and attraction for her man and is instead losing respect, love and attraction for him, then the society around her tells her to move on.

It’s unfortunate, but that is the world that we live in these days.

12. Making excuses rather than addressing the real issues

Pretty much every guy who is not succeeding with women has a secret excuse (or a number of excuses) as to why it’s not happening for him. Some guys will say:

  • If only I was taller.
  • I have to lose some weight first.
  • I’m not good looking enough.
  • I have to get a better job first.
  • I have to go to the gym for a year first and build some muscle.

Yet, what guys like that fail to realize (or accept) is that they always see other guys who don’t fit the mould of being perfect, with a beautiful girlfriend or a wife.



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